Family Values in Politics

Can't they keep their trousers zipped tight ?

As a media frenzy surrounds John Prescott Bunce dares to ask the questions, others dare not. Such as; where did he get the energy from ? Why did a fairly fit woman become 2 Jags mistress ?

And ......................Why won't these sickening pictures in my head go away ?

Pictured Left : Our Hero John, looking tired and shagged out

Yes Mr 2 Jag Prescott, is now to be known as 2 dick Prescott, playing at home, playing away. A Bunce news hack pictured Mr Prescott ( above ) yesterday, and for a man in public office the veritable shagathon he has been engaged in, has clearly taken it's toll.

Bunce however is mystified, just what is the attraction of these mingers in public office ( apart from the aroma of power, money and sweaty pant linings ) ? After all 2 jags follows a veritable heritage of ministers who have let their loins drag them into the glare of unwelcome fornicational tabloid exposure.

Who can forget the Blunkett years, a man hardly the hunkiest piece of meat on the slab, here   seen praying for more sex.  Once again, those pictures are there in your head aren't they ? make them go away mummy ..................

And what of Robin Cook, sadly now deceased, not in a shagging frenzy, but walking on the mountains. At one time said to have had 6 lovers. Below he is pictured with his long suffering wife. Thumbs up for multiple extra-marital sex then Robin............

Our Tony is under pressure from all sides, and whilst he would wish to have the Labour party in the media for all the right reasons such as cutting hospital waiting lists to zero and having every child in the country with the IQ of Sir Alan Sugar. Hmm maybe not , Tony finds himself piloried for the trouser dropping antics of his faithful.

Accordingly Tony, we can exclusively reveal will soon mandate that all his ministers wear time locked and curfew tagged braces. These have been undergoing secret filed testing for months in a secret location. However Bunce can give you, dear readers and exclusive preview.