Xmas Bazaar
Special! November 2003. - Free With The Bunce.
Pratt's Bottom P.A.N.T.S Wonderful World of Wax!
A
selection of the best and brightest of this years
display are described by chief creative artist and
certified sex case ,
Baz
'The Beast' Jenkins:
Jim Davidson:
Baz: We done Jim coz he is the
most P.A.N.T.S comedian we could think of. We all relate
to him and would love to 'ave 'im 'ere.
Kylie & Jason:
Baz: We done Kylie coz
everyone fancies 'er. We tried to do Max
Headroom but it went wrong so we just stuck 'im
behind 'er and said it was Jason (he was in 'ere
for a few months last June).
Michael Owen & Ian Botham:
Baz: We all love Mike and
Beefy so it was an 'eart felt tribute to mould their
bits and pieces. They are anatomically correct in every
way... we hope.. Ha ha!
Posh & Becks:
Baz: Edwina Currie and
George Michael were fucking 'arder than they
looked so we just stuck 'em next to each other
and voila!
Princess Di:
Baz: She's like every
P.A.N.T.S persons Queen of Hearts. I done 'er 'ead which
was easy to do from photos of Edwards bird and we just
used the 'Attie Jaques body left over from our
disastrous Carry on Theme that never took off!
Dear Readers,
We appreciate that some of
these likenesses are not as.... life-like as one may
expect from a modern wax works. You may have felt that
in the interests of journalistic integrity we perhaps
should have challenged Baz over the vailidity of some of
his references and why Beefy and Owen appear to be
wearing make-up. In answer to this we say 'Please put
yourself in our shoes and consider the wisdom of telling
an eighteen stone sex case with a craft knife and
fourteen convictions for indecent assault of males, that
you think his wax works are shit!'
