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 A typically charismatic pose (left) of our Rob demonstrating how he plans to smash the demons of email and internet
Fed up with people criticising his every move and unsure why people should be upset with 228% inflation or the total destruction of the commercial farming sector, our Rob has turned his attention to the Internet.
As the countries economy plummets faster than Enron stock in a fire sale Rob has focused squarely on email as the root of evil in his country.
At a keynote speech earlier today he announced that with immediate effect every email and internet transaction in Zimbabwe would be examined in detail before being allowed across the borders. Nigerian scam email traffic will be allowed to cross Zimbabwe without let or hindrance however.
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Roberts Packet Opening Plans promise full employment
Robert plans to re-purpose several hundred thousand square meters of former sewing machine factories, tractor gear knob presses, bicycle sprocket manufacturing plants and factories that made those small plastic inn sign cocktail sticks you never see anymore. He said, "These factories will take all those people not currently working or engaged in kicking white folk off their farms. My advisors have informed me that they will be equipped with hand tools fashioned from sticks, here they will prise open these 'internet packets' and examine the contents. Only those that please me will be allowed to leave the country. Also in a single swoop I have created full employment." It is already illegal in Zimbabwe to "undermine the authority of the president" or to "engender hostility" towards him as well as to make abusive, obscene or false statements against him. So that would include calling him a total f***ng loony then ???????
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