| Dear
WG
I have been a
heroin addict for eight years and due to the
dirt on the syringes I have been using am in
danger of losing my arm from gangrene. What on
earth can I do, I'm only 29 and feel like my
life is finished.
|
A Quick Stir Of
The Tea-Leaves and WG Knocks us for six!
At 29 you can
only reasonably expect to live for another 14
years so don't be too depressed! I am loath to
stop you using Heroin all together as the
benefits of using Opiates are well documented;
enhanced states of relaxation, ability to
withstand the brisk atmosphere of dipping into
the North Sea, Increased Attractiveness to women
etc. So may I suggest you move onto using a pipe
of some description and perhaps apply a cold
nettle-compress to the arm.
|
The
Good Doctor pulling out all the stops to rescue
a messy 'Breach-birth' in 1910.
|
|
W.G. Driving onto Action to
Save a Gentlemen whose piles have recently
abscessed. |
Dear
WG
I have been
suffering from Bronchitis on and off for about
ten years. I am a 46 year old man and smoke 80
Embassy cigarettes a day but consider myself
healthy in all other respects. (I play football
and cricket regularly). Antibiotics only seem to
bring me relief for two to three months and then
the bronchitis returns. It is causing me to miss
work and ruins my sporting hobbies.
|
Via The
Crystal Ball, The Doctor Spaketh Thus:
There is still
no known cure for bacterial infections such as
that which cause Bronchitis, Tonsillitis and
Horn-rot (discovered by sailors recently in the
far East.). But it sounds like you are doing all
the right things, the 80 cigarettes should help
to fumigate your rotten lungs and also make you
more attractive to women. Realistically, you can
only sit and wait for the slow onset of a
painful demise but as a desperate measure you
could try finding 3 hours a day in which to
smoke a pipe on top of your cigarette intake. If
nothing else it will allow you to enjoy the burning
sensation associated with Rough Bavarian Shag
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