For too long, Britain has been plagued by domestics kicking off when chaps inadvertently recall past scrapes and events in crystal clear detail when some massaging of the truth may have been music to their spouse's ears. For Example when questioned about the relative merits of a previous girlfriends bosom, how many men wish they had cunningly expressed disappointment with her empty leathery saddlebags rather than the more truthful response of 'I would roll in Dog Shit with my mouth open just to see them once more'

A dreadful artists impression of the 'Spouse Friendly Memory Enhancer'

Good news comes for those of us who wish we knew when to keep our mouths shut OR even better make the correct words come out of it. Boffins in an underground lair somewhere have come up with a two piece apparatus that is guaranteed to end arguments caused by men recalling the wrong things. Professor Bryn Fray explained how the Spouse Friendly Memory Enhancer works; 'Basically a Serotonin monitoring station is hidden in a ring that will be given to the spouse as a gift. When the Spouse's serotonin levels are detected as falling below a certain level a warning signal is broadcast via a discreet transmitter on the ring to a flesh coloured device hidden in the gentlemen's ear. The received broadcast triggers a gentle 150,000 volt charge that is directed at the hippocampus. This is no more severe than driving a tent peg straight between your eyes whilst micro waving the area between your ears. The charge acts directly on the area of the brain responsible for memory (thereby eradicating what is left of the offending memory) and the electric shock increases the subjects ability to be creative and finish the story off in a more Spouse friendly way.. hence the name.' He continued 'There are some side-effects,  such as loss of balance, involuntary urination, rolling eyes, a sound/smell similar to that generated by the insecteliminators found in butchers, loud screaming and defecating but as most subjects are at least tipsy when making these mistakes (if not totally pissed) it should pass unnoticed'.

If the government rubber stamps this 'Fit for Public Consumption' then expect to see them hitting the shops in about two months time.