Tasty Menu ONE !! |            Tasty Menu Two !!!!  The Bunce - relief in an ocean of pain
 

Let Brigadier Bunce take the angst away

Sponsored by .....

 


claim.gif (70572 bytes)

 

 

Brigadier,

My 8 year old son is driving me mad with request for Nike trainers, designer clothing and Sony PS2's. Our weekly visit to Tesco's is nightmare and my trolley normally ends up with far more luxury goods than I anticipated buying. My wife has left me and I am in debt to the tune of £15,000. I need your help.

George Nublett

Dorking

George

I must confess to know little of these 'Nikes' and PS2's of which you speak. My local provisioner was also similarly in the dark. However it is clear that your offspring is causing you sever financial difficulties. I recommend you turn the negative aspect of this to a positive and consider sending the young urchin up chimneys as a sweeps chimney boy, or better yet sell him to Arabian camel racers. When you speak of  'Tescos' I presume you mean a supermarket of which I have heard little of, I suggest you send out to Harrods or Fortnum's, thus removing the temptations from your youngsters gaze

Brig.Bunce(rtrd.)

 

Bunce is proud to present our invaluable investment aids.......

The Bunceomatic lucky Rabbit Foot, uncertain as to whether it should be techs or bios today ?Worried when the up tick will  be ? Rub our Bunceomatic lucky Rabbit Foot against your private parts and worry no more. 

CAT B4374 £135.95

The Bunceomatic diving rod. Sell or Buy ? Invest or Divest ? Life is a challenge isn't it !!!!! Take the uncertainty away with the Bunceomatic diving rod. One wave of your tool over yesterdays Times Business and all will be revealed.

CAT B4322 £125.95

Investment success guaranteed with Bunceomatic lucky charms .Your portfolio will thrive on three bowls of  Bunceomatic lucky charms a day. We have scientific proof * that consumption of Bunceomatic lucky charms will bring financial rewards beyond your wildest dreams.

 

Brigadier,

I am a 20 year old student nurse and very proud of what I am going to achieve later on in my career. Unfortunately I am under a lot of pressure at the moment due to financial worries. I am on the list to be allocated subsidised housing but this seems to still be a long way off. I have an overdraft of £9000, two credit card bills of over £3000 and a small bank loan of £2000 already and am worried I will have to quit and look for something better paid. Please give me some hope.

Rebecca Veale

Manchester

My Dear Rebecca,

I beg you not to leave the nursing profession, it is so important to the future of this country that we have highly motivated well trained nurses. Your profession is so badly needed when we liberate countries and continents in our empire building efforts.

You could look to consolidate your four separate debts into one easily manageable loan with BunceLoans Direct (www.BunceLoansDirect.con) with an Apr of only 4%* (*higher than most loan sharks 29.9%) it really could be the answer to your problems. Alternatively get yourself out on the game .

 


High quality Bollux from the BunceBoyz