The Bunce Brings you yet another tremendous social service.

Iraqi Minister for Truth, Mohammed Saeed Sahaf, Advises on and Appreciates your Every Day Occurrences....

Mohammed Saeed Sahaf seen answering questions at a recently sponsored Bunce 'Truth-Outing' Workshop.

Dear Minister:

My wife is expecting a baby boy and we are debating: should he be circumcised?

R Cole - By Email

Saeed Replies

Dear Richard ( if that is your name, I deny it is)

Clearly your mind has been tainted by the Zionist animals that bay at our borders ( but nowhere near Baghdad ) each night like gutter dogs. Our great and glorious leader has made many glorious proclamations about the slicing of his very own manhood. Such actions are sign of the dedicated citizen and will give strength to our victorious fighters and defeat the imperialist snakes that even now slither in the desert. God is great, God is great.

My 87 year old mother has recently taking up skateboarding. She has two artificial hips and believes that the second World war is still on. She believes that by skating to collect her pension, she is preserving precious fuel for the war effort. We are all concerned about her and were wondering if you had come across similarly eccentric behaviour in a mis-placed belief?

Lynn Redmond, Wilts.

Saeed Says,

At that age, many people get strange ideas. It is clear she is delusional, there has been no first world war, let alone SECOND! She will be roasted in the very fires of hell for her insolence and the people shall rejoice to her screams. 

Minister,

I have a beautiful riverside cottage in Dorset and have enjoyed the early morning view of swans passing by my oak tree for years. My neighbour 'Jim' has a lovely creeping vine which has spread to my oak. I find the vine a delight to look at but recently it has become so thick that it has obscured my view of the river. I don't want to cause trouble but I was wondering if you or any reader had a suggestion as to how I can broach this subject tactfully?

Arthur, Wimborne.

Saeed Says,

Boundary disputes can be very divisive so discretion must be your watchword. None the less, this is an illegal invasion by a tyrannical mercenary. The retributionary slaughter must be swift and powered by the wrath of the almighty. Good luck seeing those swans soon.