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Derek Garrett-Langdod III seen with his new Head of Marketing
& Communications 'Mohammed Saeed Saheer'
Fed up with
being constantly mis-represented and made to look
untrustworthy by unscrupulous journalists and embittered
customers, Derek Tariq Garrett-Langdod III has hired a top
professional to fight his PR battles for him.
Langdods CEO explained the
process, "I first saw Mohammed explaining the Iraqi's position
on coalition forces progress in the war on Saddam. He seemed
to be making a good job of explaining some difficult concepts
in simple ways... for instance, he explained clearly how 2000
Republican guards fleeing Baghdad and offering intelligence to
the US on Saddam's whereabouts was a blow against the great
Satan's of the west and played into Saddam Husseins hands. On
hearing him say that without a hint of irony in his voice, I
knew we had to have him."
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Bunce Says - Denials In the Post.. Signed, Sealed &
Delivered.
It is well known that the US
wanted the former Minister for information to stand trial in
the Hague and spend the rest of his life a prisoner in exile.
Derek cleared up this misunderstanding, "Certainly the US had
been making noises in that direction but let's just say that
no visiting US dignitary will ever pay for Fish and Chips in
Cricklewood again and I think you'll know where we're coming
from!"
Mohammed Saheer started his first
Press Conference for Langdods by saying "Any Persons.. Found
in contravention.. In Contravention of fully legal protocols
will be shlaughtered as vermin!" It was agreed by onlookers
that the new tone of reconciliation shown by Langdods was well
overdue.
As we go to press, Mohammed Saeed
Saheer is in the middle of reading out an 8000 page dossier of
denials of unscrupulous business dealings by Langdods....
watch this space to see if he ever finishes.
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