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 In
a state of thorough non-arousal but none the less a
sight for sore eyes.. David Beckham!
Fickle readers, you
may remember that we ran a competition at the end of the
Premiership season to see who were the sexiest Players
to have graced the Top flights teams in the last thirty
years. We called the competition the 'Summertime Special
Soccer Stars Shagathon' and the premise was simple. We
asked you to describe your fantasy weekend in a secluded
hotel with three Players of your choice.
The First prize was a years supply of
Charlie perfume (because we thought that only women
would take part). After four weeks of no interest, we
started to lose hope that people would participate but
then last Thursday things changed...
An eighty-seven page dossier complete
with room plans, meal times, medical apparatus and life
saving procedures and drugs turned up in the Bunce
office. Man U season ticket holder Amit Basu, had simply
been putting in the necessary leg work to describe his
all time fantasy weekend locked away with David Beckham,
George Best and Steve Coppell.
 "In
full flow, a beardsleyesque young Coppell on the wing".
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Bunce Says - Doesn't anyone like our
competitions?
 "George
Best, shortly after banging yet another
Miss.World!"
As most football fans will know,
Steve Coppell has a damaged Cruciate Knee
Ligament and Amit had even described sexual acts
that would allow Steve to rest his withered
stump of a right leg.
Before everyone gets worried and
starts demanding police protection for these
football legends from 'that unhinged little
pervert', we would like to make it clear that
Mr.Basu planned the entire operation as though
he were a woman and has no desire to be involved
himself, "I felt it would be good to explore my
feminine side" he explained from the comfort of
his seven feet tall Jimmy Saville style office
chair. No Doubts about it, Amit wins the
competition hands down and we hope he enjoys the
perfume!
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