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 The
Beginning of 2004 is celebrated here on the Bunce with
the Announcement of the birth of Charlotte
Garrett-Langdon to Irelands premier Entrepreneur, 'Langdod
III'.
In a blatant
attempt to increase family income (by claiming family
allowance) Irish Chipshop owner Derek Anthony Mijalovic
Garrett-Langdon III has transformed himself into Father
Langdod.
On the 29th November 2003, the waiting
was over and Charlotte arrived. Her Labour was long and
testing but nowhere near as long (or as testing
according to Mrs.Langdod) as Langdod's paternity Leave.
He was forced to return to work on 2nd
January by a frustrated Mrs.Langdod who simply wanted to
hoover without having to keep asking him to lift his
feet every five minutes. 'I could handle him sitting
doing nothing in the front room when I was trying to
hoover but when I was trying to hoover in the bathroom
and he was insisting on sitting on the Throne and
lifting his legs over the hoover (because he thinks it's
good exercise for him) I told him he had to go back to
work!' said a tearful Mrs.'L' last night.
Langdod is no quitter though and although
he has been back in the office for over a week, he still
considers himself to be on leave and has produced a
level of output to match that.
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Bunce Says -
Call Norris McWhirter,
It's the longest Paternity leave ever recorded.
'Becoming a Daddy has given me more
meaning in life. A fresh perspective if you will. I
honestly feel that in some small way I have guaranteed
my immortality by continuing the Langdod bloodline',
Langdod explained as he lifted his legs over the
cleaners hoover during the office cleaning round. 'It's
amazing to think that I have played some part in
creating this little miracle.. our little Charlotte. I
named her after Charlotte Rampling, the actress who
played Elizabeth I in the film of her life. (the Bunce
pointed out that actually 'Cate Blanchett' portrayed
Elizabeth in that film). I need to phone my wife
immediately!' he explained.
Langdod has no plans to break from his
leave for the foreseeable future but thinks that maybe
one day he may venture over to the office post tray in
case he has been sent a complimentary 2004 Topless
calendar.
We will leave the last word of this
article to the overjoyed new father, 'I can't wait for
little Cate to grow up and make me a Grandaddy but first
I want her to have a wonderful Childhood'... and we all
agree.
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