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 A
'framed' Derek Antoine-Marc Garrett Langdon ze turde
putting on a brave face for fans in Zurich.
In a spectacular
miscarriage of justice, Irish Folk-hero Langdod spent a
night in the cells in Zurich after being arrested for
carrying weapons grade plutonium.
Langdod fell victim to a hideously
devious plot to incriminate him on a recent business
trip to Zurich.
A criminal mastermind slipped two 20kg
Iron Spreader plates into his 'y' fronts before he
boarded the flight. Langdod then proceeded to cart them
around most of Zurich before noticing that he had shrunk
four inches in height.
As he stopped to check the contents of
his undercrackers in the middle of the square the police
pounced. Langdod himself picks up the story, "Well to be
sure I was just lowering my skids when two Gards jumped
us! They were shouting to be sure and I tried to explain
how I was just going to get my John Thompsons out
because someone had been poking foreign objects in my
privates but the weren't impressed."
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Bunce Says -
It's A Stitch up.
"I thought they were
annoyed until they caught sight of my spreaders
and they just lost it completely! Next Thing, I
spent a night in the cells whilst they sent the
contents of my C&A navy blue extra baggy pants
to the lab for analysis. The found an unusually
high nylon content but nothing illegal luckily".
So our hero had a lucky escape
but was in reflective mood "I thought I had it
tough in Zurich but in a way I'm glad the
authorities there investigated my private parts
because I was on my way to Miami and God alone
knows what the yanks would have made of my
enormous spreaders! They would probably have
banged me up for life!"
He had a final positive word for
Swiss authorities "Prison was much nicer in
Zurich than I had imagined it would be. Every
cell has a cuckoo clock and a box of milka
chocolates... which was nice although I wasn't
that fond of the hazlenut ones. Still, I suppose
if it had been Miami I might have been buggered
as I hate American chocolate!"
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