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 A
talentless Bunce Artist's impression of how Langdod May
look in a Panto coming near you SOON!
Bunce readers will
be well aware of the capers that eccentric Irish
entrepreneur Derek 'Langdod' Langdon has found himself
embroiled in over the last couple of years (in case you
have missed his previous articles, he has converted his
kitchen into a Kosher fish and chip shop, changed his
name by deed poll to attract newly introduced EU
customers to his chippy, been arrested for smuggling
Nuclear weapons and had a lovely wee baby.) Many readers
wrote to us at the turn of the year and expressed their
concerns at Langdod's passing into parenthood. The
majority feared that his new found responsibilities
would detract from his inherent ability to get involved
in mad scams. Well shame on you.. YOU DOUBTING JOHN
THOMPSONS! YES Langdod is back and he is once again
'very much' centre of attention.
Langdod has
found time between changing nappies and expressing his
daughter's lunch to read Floella Benjamins 'Acting Up -
Stagecraft for beginners in 21 days'. After only six
months, Langdod has read all twenty-six short pages and
declared himself an Actorr (note the double 'r').
A glance at
his CV he sent to his casting director sums up
his ambition:
As a
teenager I mixed with the likes of O'Toole,
Harris, Byrne, Brosnan and Farrell. I watched
them with awe and swore one day to emulate their
transformations played out to packed houses....
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Bunce Says -
Tights are for ladies!
Impressive
stuff dear readers, we think you'll agree. Once
again though, not all was as it seemed with
Langdod. When asked to describe which
performances of Peter O'Tooles and Richard
Harris' (mentioned on his CV) he had most
enjoyed, he had this to say, "To be fair I
actually meant Michael O'Toole, Tony Harris, Ted
'Rope'Byrne, Sean Brosnan and Dick Farrell. I
think their finest moment came only last year at
Bekan Village hall when they portrayed five of
Snow White's seven Dwarves. We didn't have
enough short fellahs to go round so we had to
drop two. Doc and Grumpy went because no one
wanted to be the old one and no one wanted to be
the miserable fecker for three weeks. Some of
the casting was inspired I might add. Tony
Harris was suffering from an allergy to his
girlfriend's cat and used that as his focus for
the roll of sneezy whilst people are still
talking about 'Rope' Byrne's Last-night Sleepy
to this day! In fairness, they are talking about
it because no one had seen anyone portray such
perfect sleep for two solid hours before.. in
fact he kept it up even when it was his cue to
leave. After the first hour we should have
suspected that something was up but we all
thought he was 'in the zone'. It turned out that
poor old 'Rope' had been suffering from heart
disease for years (he liked a guinness or ten
with his kebabs) and had an attack in scene one
but he was such a trooper he made it to the last
night and made it look like he was peacefully
dropping off. Half of County Mayo turned out for
his funeral.. all dressed in Disney costumes
too. It was a very dignified send off. I
personally went as Steam boat Willy.".
Langdod is
now 'on the audition circuit' in between resting
so keep your eyes on those bus shelter posters.
Break a leg
Langdod.....
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