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Monday:
Brokered
a peace deal between the Israelis and Palestinians. We
have created a new country of Pisraelistine with
everybody becoming a subject of High Chancellor Banques
and renouncing historic faiths in favour of the
infinitely preferable ‘1st Temple Of Banques
JayBiology’. JayBiology is a new and highly
commendable pacifistic religion whereby followers
realise their pointlessness and insignificance in the
world order by studying their inadequacies in comparison
to their resplendent leader and seek further fulfilment
by placing huge wads of used fivers in a large Hessian
bag.
Tuesday:
Flew
my 747 to Beirut to act as chairman at Middle East Peace
Conference. Instructed Colin Powell on how to use the
repression of mass populations to control oil prices and
appease anxious CEO’s in the World Motor Trade. Bush
will shake with excitement on hearing. Stopped off in
Afghanistan for 5 minutes, instructed the Royal Marines
where to find Taliban and al-Qaeda fighters before
single handedly repaired the damage to the
infrastructure caused during the Russian and
Taleban regimes in that country whilst waiting for my
747 to be re-fuelled.
Wednesday:
AM:
Took a look through the ENRON and Andersons books.
PM:
Rescued US market from pit of recession by constructing
business plan in which ENRON and Andersons clean up
their act, repay their combined $10Bn debt and help keep
McDonalds wrappers from the streets.
Thursday:
Received
Nobel prizes for Cancer cure, formation of Pisraelistine
and book ‘Make money whilst making big love… in
formula One car.’ Immediately gave prizes to orphans
as door stops.
Friday:
Shot
up on heroin and pulled a sicky.
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Jamie
Banques - My journal
