|
 In
a move that some experts are calling 'his most
ambitious/delusional yet', proud Texan George W Bush
plans to send Saddam Hussein to Mars within the next
twenty years.
Irrespective of the
fact that Hussein will be nearly 90 and in rancid
physical condition by then (having probably been
executed for war crimes), the President has urged
congress to make $4m (u.s.d) available to fund the
expedition.
Most astronomical experts
placed the figure for successfully placing a man (alive)
on Mars at nearer to $800bn (u.s.d) but Bush will not be
persuaded to drop his folly. 'Hayell, if ah only succeed
in blasting him tuh bits on tha launch pad it will be
money wail spent', the President explained.
The Plan seems to involve
strapping Saddam to a decommissioned Soviet ICBM (in the
spirit of international cooperation) pointing it at Mars
and lighting the blue touch paper.
The President is trying
to be more realistic in his outlook though when he
describes his best case scenario as 'it making it all
the way to mars and putting on one hell of a mushroom
clouding firework display on impact'. |
Bunce Says -
Bush finally gives Saddam a 'Rocket'!
  evil
beard wearers.
If everything goes to plan, the President
hopes to increase the complexity of such missions so
that it can be predicted when the rockets will explode
and perhaps for them to make different coloured mushroom
clouds.
In fact, the President has
enthusiastically outlined a scenario where a different
'enemy of democracy' can be watched exploding every July
4th on Giant Screens erected around the free world. If
the Saddam plan goes well, he hopes to send Osama Bin
Laden up next... he simply has to find him first.
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